If you’re wondering, ‘is she the one?’ here are ten signs she might be:
She brings out the best in you
Have you noticed that your life has changed for the better since she has entered it, and not just because of her presence? You’re more goal-oriented now, or more motivated to improve your own life and circumstances. You’re trying to be better and do better, not because she asks it of you, but because you want to be the kind of person she deserves. Real love can be a powerful incentive to become the best version of yourself – so if she inspires you to do so? Make sure you don’t let her go.
She actively listens to you
Active listening is a key, and deeply underrated, skill when it comes to successful relationships, especially romantic ones. When someone is actively listening to you, they aren’t just hearing the words that come out of your mouth; they’re fully present for the conversation, noticing any non-verbal cues you’re giving them, asking open-ended questions, and paraphrasing and reflecting what you said to make sure you’re both on the same page. If she makes a point of actively listening to you, it’s a good sign the answer to ‘is she the one?’ is yes.
She includes you in her plans, present and future
One of the signs she’s the one is how much of a part of it you are, whether it’s right now – making sure you’re included in plans with her family, carving out time for you even if it’s just a text – or in the future – assuming you’ll be a part of her life five or even ten years from now, taking it for granted that you’ll always be a matched pair. If she wants to build a life together with you, the odds are that yes, she is the one.
You feel safe being vulnerable with her
Being vulnerable can be really hard, especially for anyone who’s been socialized to be ‘strong’ or ‘tough.’ A good way to figure out the answer to ‘is she the one’ is to ask yourself whether you can let yourself be vulnerable with her. While being vulnerable is never easy, studies show it can strengthen your relationship. While it’s up to us to work on our own emotional baggage, having a supportive partner can definitely make the job easier – and if she’s the one, she’ll be right there with you.
It’s more than just sex with her
Don’t get us wrong, sex is great – studies have shown, in fact, that regular consensual sex increases happiness and quality of life. That said, if you’re wondering, ‘is she the one?’ how you two relate outside of the bedroom is just as important. After all, there will be seasons in your life where you won’t have time or energy for sex – your lives might be busy with work, or you might have young children, which makes having a bond that isn’t just based on sexual attraction all the more important.
You trust her
If you’re fine with her hanging out with friends and don’t worry when she goes on trips since you’re secure in her feelings for you, that’s a pretty good answer to the question of ‘is she the one?’ While a little occasional jealousy is normal – we are all human, after all – once you’ve found the one, it’s overridden by your trust in her and the strength of your love.
You know how to resolve your relationship conflicts
You fight – of course you do. It’s normal and natural for couples to have disagreements. What matters is how you fight – can you do so while still respectful of the other person? Do you try to reach a compromise and resolve things so you’re both happy rather than trying to ‘punish’ the other person? If you answered ‘yes’ to both of these questions, it increases the chances that the answer to ‘is she the one’ is yes.
You’re friends as well as romantic partners
If you look at couples who’ve been together a long time, you’ll find that they’re friends as well as lovers. If you are happy to spend time in each other’s company, if you make each other laugh all the time, if you share many of the same goals and values, if she makes you smile just to think about – those are all signs that she’s the one. Studies have shown that friendship is a key part of a successful long-term relationship – so if she’s your friend as well as your romantic partner, that’s one of the signs she might be the one.
She accepts your flaws
Regardless of what online articles and magazines will tell you, women aren’t looking for perfection. In fact, a good way to gauge whether she’s the one is to look at how she reacts to your flaws. Does she accept them as part of who you are? Does she encourage you to improve while not being judgmental of you for having them? If she’s the one, she’ll look at your flaws the way she (hopefully) looks at yours – as a part of the wonderful whole that is you.
You just know she’s the one
Sometimes our hearts know before the rest of you has a chance to catch up. Pay attention to how you feel around her – does she make you happy? Smile just thinking of her? Do you relax when she walks into the room? Does being with her feel natural and easy? Do you have inside jokes that crack you up that nobody else gets no matter how many times you try and explain? When you imagine a normal day in your life five, ten, twenty years from now, can you see her in it? If you answered yes to all (or even most) of these questions, then you know what the answer to ‘is she the one?’ is.